Lessons in rejection

What Melanie Means

You are confident, self assured, and capable. You are not easily intimidated. You master any and all skills easily. You don't have to work hard for what you want. You make your life out to be exactly how you want it. And you'll knock down anyone who gets in your way! You are friendly, charming, and warm. You get along with almost everyone. You work hard not to rock the boat. Your easy going attitude brings people together. At times, you can be a little flaky and irresponsible. But for the important things, you pull it together. You are relaxed, chill, and very likely to go with the flow. You are light hearted and accepting. You don't get worked up easily. Well adjusted and incredibly happy, many people wonder what your secret to life is. You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection. You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive. You have the classic "Type A" personality. You are very intuitive and wise. You understand the world better than most people. You also have a very active imagination. You often get carried away with your thoughts. You are prone to a little paranoia and jealousy. You sometimes go overboard in interpreting signals. You tend to be pretty tightly wound. It's easy to get you excited... which can be a good or bad thing. You have a lot of enthusiasm, but it fades rather quickly. You don't stick with any one thing for very long. You have the drive to accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. Your biggest problem is making sure you finish the projects you start.

What's Your Name's Hidden Meaning?

Hmmmmmm I guess that's pretty accurate. Though I'm not so sure about pulling it together for the important things now. *sigh* Anyway.

Spent the morning selling flags with the parents for Focus on the Family. It's appropriate, doing it as a family - wish the siblings could have joined us too. It was surprisingly fun. Maybe because this is one cause I really believe in - keeping families together. It saddens me to hear of the rising divorce rates and how parents and kids don't get along. Sometimes I feel like screaming at these people, "You have so much, how can you throw it all away? Don't you see what you're doing???"

I'd like to think if I had my own family someday, I'd just know what to do. Not make the same mistakes so many other people make. I'd be so careful to cherish and protect what I had. Now that's a big if. If I ever get that someday... we'll see.

These days I'm not entirely sure I want that anymore.

Oh, I do still want that, in itself. I'm scared of what it takes to get there though. I'm definitely not ready to go down that road again. To pour my heart and soul into a relationship, hold nothing back, give 110%. To trust, to believe, to love. And then have it all taken away, for no apparent reason. No, I definitely don't want that. I really don't know if I'll ever have the courage to try again. Right now, it hurts way too much to even contemplate. Hurts beyond believing. So. Maybe someday.

Back to selling flags. If you've ever done that, you'll know how people react to flag-sellers... it varies from the heartwarming to the downright rude. But you have to keep that smile on your face and keep at it, till your stickers run out or you're dead on your feet. Hey, it's all for charity, right? It certainly thickens your skin though.

And I guess, like in all tough situations, there are lessons to be learnt. Here's what I picked up today on how to sell flags:
1. Generally, people are too shy to just approach you. That doesn't mean they're not willing to give though. All you have to do is make the first move!
2. Patience and persistence are very important. You are going to get rejected more than a few times, but just get over it - the next person may be much nicer.
3. Always be polite, no matter how rude the other party is.
4. People respond much better to a sweet smile than to aggression.
5. Even when you get rejected, however rudely, just smile and say 'thank you'. And really mean it.

And I suppose these can be applied to relationships too. Heh. Hmmmmm, I'd say I've been pretty good at keeping to the rules (both today and in my relationships). Even the last one. That was really tough though. Looking back now, I can't believe I did it... wow. I amaze myself sometimes.

Yeah... that's what I mean by way too nice. I should take Mr W's advice and be more of a bitch. Haha. Somehow I don't think I could even if I wanted to. I'm such a bad liar anyhow.

Okay, enough. Enough enough enough. Time to snap out of this. I've spent enough time wallowing. Yeah I know, I'll say this about 10 time more before I actually do it. This is just the first of many. It's a start, at least.

And in other news... Sam's got me totally hooked now on the Twilight series. It's all about vampires and werewolves and it's surprisingly good. No, not good. Totally awesome. I just got my hands on the third and fourth books. I've already devoured the third and I'm so afraid to touch the fourth because there's no more after that. (Oh, the horror!) I just can't put the books down, once I start. And I just found out Twilight's been made into a movie! And it comes out on Christmas day!!! And guess who plays the lead vampire, Edward???? None other than Robert Pattinson, aka Cedric Diggory of Harry Potter fame. Argh!!!!!!!!! (Although in my mind Edward always looked like Jason Behr aka Max Evans from the TV series Roswell. Especially since I've seen him play a vampire before - in a bad movie, it's true - and he looked so gorgeous there. But then I guess Robert Pattinson looks loads more English, and that suits Edward...) Can't wait for the movie. I've booked Sam already. And I thought Harry Potter was good. Haha.

Off to dreamland now... and I know what I'll be dreaming of tonight. Rowr.