Time of my life

Yes we are very very happy ;)

Whoooo! Okay updates updates!

So it's birthday month yeah, and a lot has been happening lately. The weekend was great, Sunday especially was a blast hanging out with the Hello Panda Club. I love love love you girls so so so much!!!!!!! 'Nuff said. Haha. No lah not quite... ;)






Lionel and I; the lovely ladies of the HPC; Far blowing her nose as Saf stares at the table... I mean checks out the menu

So on Sunday after church Lionel and I checked out the Museum of Toys - Mint Cafe - before meeting the girls for my birthday dinner. Mint is really a toy museum combined with a cafe at the first level, it's a cool concept and the only one of its kind in Asia. It's at 26 Seah Street, opposite Raffles Hotel, go check it out people! The Museum itself is all right, better with the commentary from the curator, but the thing you should really go for is the cafe. The food is absolutely delicious, and the desserts are decadent... they're just to die for!!!! The topper - book the sofas in advance and stretch out (I mean REALLY stretch out, see Farah's photos! I'll post the photos if I manage to get them from her) while enjoying your coffee and cake. Pure luxury, I tell you.










Food, glorious food!

The HPC's outings are always marked by tons of laughter and this outing was no different. Well, it was different in a way, 'cos we're starting to include guys now. Introducing our two newest 'members'... the Hello Panda Boys!!!!! Comprising Ben, Min's bf, and my very own special someone ;) And what fun we had! I think the guys integrate with the HPC pretty well. We must share the same sense of humour lah, which means an absurd, offbeat kinda kookiness. Yeah! I love how we can just say anything and find it so incredibly hilarious, and start rolling about on the couch with flailing arms, screaming with laughter. Oh my goodness. I always feel like my abs have been through a major workout after every HPC outing, just from laughing the whole time. Like Saf says, we're working out all the fats we're gaining from the sinful desserts. Mmmmmmm the desserts... we had the mudpie and the nutella cake, the chocolate truffle and the mint choc... heaven! I'm so going back for more. And the sofas definitely help, they are so good for relaxing on. It's like therapy, having dessert on those sofas. Whooooo.

See my pretty birthday card!




Front and back. So bright and colourful. Heehee yeah. I think I got such great presents this year! Let's see...

From the girls, a really pretty charm bracelet with dolphins and tiny pink cat's-eyes. Seems the theme for this year is pink. How feminine... we're finally growing up. Heh. And Royal Sporting House vouchers so I can buy funky exercise gear! I'm gonna get my butt in shape, in style! Well not really my butt, I like my butt a lot already... haha... I'm gonna work on my abs, wanna get my cross-country abs back. Whee!

From Nick, I got The Time Traveller's Wife, which is a totally awesome book and made me smile and almost cry (I was too tired to cry at the end of it though, 'cos I'd stayed up really late to finish it, it's that good). I'd post a pic but I already lent it to Lionel haha. Nick also gave me The Dog stickers customised with my name. So cute!

From Greg, I got Wilfred, The Imperfect Teddy. After years of searching for the perfect teddy Greg wisely figured there was no such thing, and got me the opposite instead. Isn't Wilfred adorable???



I also got a new DS game which looks totally awesome... itching to start playing. I have a feeling once I start it'll be pretty hard to stop though. Haha. Oh and Greg wrote me such a wonderful poem. Thanks dear... you know it made me cry. Thanks for the memories.



From my amazing, awesome, incredible siblings... AN MP3 PLAYER!!!!!!!!!!!! How cool is that? Check it out, it's so pretty. I love my sibs, they're so sweet. I am so incredibly blessed to have them. How many people have younger siblings who spoil them that way? Wow. My bro set it up for me and downloaded lotsa songs so now I can listen to my fave music before I sleep. Nice ;)



Dad gave me tons of money and paid for all our meals at Phuket. And gave his blessing with regards to Lionel =P

My colleagues got me Takashimaya vouchers! I'm so going shopping!!! Gonna get me a bunch of new clothes. I have a craving for pretty dresses and skirts. And pretty accessories. Hairbands, bags, scarves, jewellery, oh and SHOES... More more more! I've been looking for a really nice pair of boots and I've gotta start looking at winterwear too. Wow, guess the vouchers were pretty spot-on haha.

Lionel's little sis Rachel made me a handphone strap and namecards and a sweet birthday card. And she gave me this funny pen with a little doggie perched on the end. Haha. She's so sweet!

And of course Lionel gave me the best present of all... himself ;) Haha no of course not all wrapped up with a big pink bow (the horror!)... no, it just happened so naturally, so beautifully I almost can't believe we're actually finally official.

Lionel took me out for an amazing dinner at Rochester Park on Monday night. We strolled by the restaurants - those fancy-schmancy restaurants - and decided to try Da Paolo's 'cos the architecture of the place was just so gorgeous. And wow, it was just beautiful.


The water feature at Da Paolo. Very soothing.

The food was superb, the wine didn't get me drunk although I think I got a little red, the dessert was heavenly. I love the place! We took pictures. Heh.

Dinner was delicious!

And at the end of dinner... Lionel asked me to be his girlfriend. No prizes for guessing what my answer was.











We're official! ;)

I'm still reeling.

... Wow ;)

Officially yours

It's official. I'm ecstatic, excited, proud, honoured to say I'm Lionel Leong's girlfriend ;)

This is just the beginning, sweetheart.

Let's fly awayyyyyyyyyyy

Checking out the goods at Central Festival. Can I have this please????

Phuket was amazing. I had such an incredible time there... I miss it already! Nothing beats the feeling of walking around a foreign country hand-in-hand with that special someone and taking in all the sights and sounds for the very first time, together. Hopefully, the first of many trips we'll go on. You and me, baby! Woot!

Quick recap of the events of the past few days, before my brain remembers its usual short-term memory...

Early flight out on Saturday. Lionel came by in a cab at 4am. The 'rents were still abed. Dad, as usual, woke up yelling, "Huh? Huh?" Haha. Good thing he didn't do that during the trip; he shared a room with Lionel. Don't worry babe, it's not hereditary. I think.

Got to the airport about 4.30, the terminals weren't open yet so we had a quick breakfast, Mom chiding Dad the whole time and complaining that she forgot her reading glasses. Lionel found this very amusing. Told you my parents were weird, babe. Heh.

Oh we saw one of the ACJC triplets at the airport. I think it was Zaishao. My dad spotted him and got so excited because apparently he knows the triplets' mum - they were ex-colleagues or something and he happened to meet her in hospital the day after the triplets were born, 'cos my mum was in the same hospital having me! So my dad was like, why don't you go wish him happy birthday? Eh, ok, but I don't really know him... Anyway I think he probably recognised me but we didn't say hi to him 'cos he was with his girlfriend, Amanda Ling's sister I think, and we didn't want to disturb them haha.

Anyway so we got on the plane and Tiger Airways isn't too bad, there's virtually zero service but the seats were all right. We tried to nap but it was a pretty short flight anyways. We were met by our tour guide at the airport in Thailand, a very smiley, chatty ex-Muay Tai boxer named Rambo. We found out later he'd been fighting from the time he was 13 and he only stopped at 29... 16 years! Wow. He still looks pretty fit.

Day 1 in Phuket: Rambo brought us to this shop selling cashew nuts and dried seafood where we got to try a bit of everything. Yum! I'm thinking I should have tried more. There were souvenirs too. Bought dollies for the girls. Pretty!

Then on to a jewellery factory where we got to see how precious stones were cut and of course we got to see the final products as well. My birthstone is opal so we checked that out - oh my goodness I love opals! They're so pretty. Especially the milky-white ones with rainbow colours in their depths. Very apt ;) I wonder if my mum subconsciously knew that the opal is the only birthstone with rainbow colours when she chose my chinese name... nah. Haha.

After we checked into the hotel we walked around and had lunch at a nearby restaurant called Pum. Very nice Thai food. When in Thailand, eat Thai! My dad liked the place so much he asked if he could keep his coaster. Heh. Afterwards went down to the beach... oh I love the beach! And it's so nice to see blue skies again! Lionel finally got to try my fins while I just lazed around in the sea contemplating the parasailers and jet-skiers. Nope, didn't get to try those but we will someday!

Then back to the hotel where we swam for a bit in the pool and then - would you believe it? - went to the gym. Needless to say we were the only two crazy ones in the gym... like we don't get enough of that in Singapore. Haha. I did 50 inclined sit-ups and my abs are still hurting. Dinner at an American-style steakhouse - big portions! Lots of meat and potatoes. Good food.

Walked around the area after dinner, the shops are open till pretty late. Mom had a great time bargaining. I'm not very good at that - I was just getting into it. I got a really sweet blouse at a slight discount - Mom was disgusted that I didn't ask for a lower price but I felt kinda bad for the sweet old lady at the shop. Lionel and Mom are a lot more vicious when it comes to haggling. Heh.

Had an early night - snorkelling the next day!

Day 2: My 24th! Started the day with a birthday kiss from my baby. Early breakfast at the hotel (surprising variety of food and pretty tasty too) and then off to Phi Phi Island for some snorkelling. We walked around the island after lunch and bought matching bracelets and necklaces. Sweet ;)

On the cruise ship











Walking around Phi Phi Island


Attachment bracelets!

Napped in the sun on the cruise ship back. I have a tan line where the necklace was. It's very uneven. Haha. We got back to the hotel before the 'rents (they went to James Bond Island and got a Thai massage) so we had another dip in the pool while waiting for them. Had my birthday dinner at an Indian restaurant called Ali Baba. Haha. The restaurant is designed like a cave, with plants growing out of the walls and pretty tea-lights everywhere. We ordered a few dishes to share and they turned out to be all curries. I'm upping my spice threshold! Yum... I love Indian food.

The 'rents headed back after dinner but we wanted to watch Muay Thai, so we made our way down to the Bangla Boxing Stadium and caught 8 fights. Awesome! The fights start off deceptively gentle, like friendly sparring - the fighters lightly tap each other on the legs, they move around gracefully while the music plays in the background. It's like watching a dance. Then the boxers become more aggressive, more brutal. They don't let up, and they're fast. Some of them look like they train 16 hours a day, some look a little soft, but don't let appearances deceive you. Muay Thai isn't about how fit your body is but about how skilled you are - you have to be alert and smart and relentless. I have to say I totally love it. It really gets your blood up! Lionel took some videos. I'll post them soon. Some nice fighting there, including a couple of knock-outs.

Muay Thai

Oh yeah thanks to everyone who remembered my birthday and smsed me ;) Gonna see most of you soon.

Day 3: Lionel and I wanted to go ATV-ing (ATV - All Terrain Vehicle. Took me a while to get it. Heh.) and bungy jumping but we only got to do the first in the end. With bungy, we only actually made it as far as the bungy jumping place - twice! The first time, the guy said they were doing maintenance and he'd give us a discount if we came back later so we went off to a mall for lunch; the second time, he said that day had been declared a King's Day or something and everyone had to go home. Boooooo. Looks like I'm not fated to jump yet, and Lionel will face his fears another time. He was having second thoughts anyway. Mom said, "Lionel, if you back out I won't call you a chicken, I'll call you a rooster." Haha. Mom has a weird sense of humour.

Well anyway we got refunded and went for a Thai oil massage instead and bought a lot of souvenirs that night (getting the hang of bargaining) so it wasn't a dead loss. At least I wasn't responsible for giving Dad more white hairs, haha. I asked him if he'd secretly prayed that we wouldn't be able to go bungy-ing. Heh.

ATV-ing is fun! Although my driving isn't all there. I drove into the vegetation a couple of times and had to be bailed out by the guide. I kept forgetting to accelerate when tackling the uphills and ended up rolling backwards down the slopes. And going down the steep slopes (facing forward this time) was a little daunting - I was remembering my mountain biking accident. Lionel said he was so scared for me the whole time, but he said it with a smile so I guess it was a little funny too. Sorry babe ;)

Me and my ATV

Lionel the hotshot

We also got to try shooting! And if my driving was bad, my shooting was much worse. Lionel hit the target board 9 times out of 10 but I only managed 2, and just barely. Boooooooooooooooooo. Haha oh well it was really fun, and I got a cool video of me firing a pistol! Wheeeee! More shooting when I get to Canada.

We had dinner at a really swanky seafood restaurant, with a live band playing mostly 80's and 90's music. The lead singer had a beautiful voice. Looking forward to Lionel's gigs! Coming up real soon.

Day 4: Mad rush to the airport and back to Singapore. Back to the haze *sigh* and back to work *sighsighsigh*. But not before I spent some time cuddling with my baby and catching up on sleep ;) I had a really great holiday. Thanks babe for sharing it with me.

Anyways... I don't mind being back in Singapore so much, there's a lot to look forward to still. Happiness!




Memories of Phuket... having fun back at the hotel =P

Let's have a celebration by the sea

It's birthday month!!!!! And that means many mini-birthday celebrations with various friends/groups of friends. I'm meeting Nick tomorrow and Greg on Friday, and another friend is having his birthday dinner on Wed. On Sat I'm off to Phuket with Lionel... really looking forward to that ;) Taking advantage of the long weekend heh. I'll celebrate my birthday overseas for once! With jetskiing and elephant treks! Next week there's dinner with the CG, and probably dinner with the guys if I can figure out when they're all free. And I'll meet with Rey prob the week after, and maybe Jerm as well. And the HPC of course.

Lots of other stuff happening this month too... cousin's wedding dinner, company party, Lionel's gig at Gone Fishing Cafe, choir practice. Looks like I'll be running around a lot the rest of October.

I'm looking forward to it! ;)

Falls apart, by herself

Just heard this morning that a cell member's grandfather passed away. Going to the wake tonight. Thank God that he was a Christian and was sure of his salvation, and in the end it was a peaceful going.

I hope on my deathbed I'm sure of my salvation. Am I? I thought I was, but lately I'm not so sure. I'm scared that in the end I'll lose hold of everything I ever wanted and everything I ever held dear because of my own selfish desires or because I never tried hard enough to get back to where I was before I fell away.

Is it too late?

Well... I know with God it's never too late. But I can't take advantage of that forever. Time to re-examine my life and make some changes. The ironic thing is that I was on the verge of all those changes, and my motivation just fell apart. I'm not even sure what's going on now. Was it wrong to have this motivation in the first place? When you're not doing it only for yourself but for the sake of a relationship. Because it's so much harder going it alone.

I see your point, but I don't quite agree. As always, other factors are at play here. Time was always a problem, and now it looks like it could kill us. I wonder sometimes if it's worth it. I hate uncertainty. Too much heartbreak involved.

I couldn't sleep last night. Tossed and turned for hours but my eyes just wouldn't shut. I just kept going over and over in my head all the things I could have, should have done differently. I know you're doing the same. The question is, where do we go from here?

I won't ask you to stay.

You already know how I feel, so... I guess it's up to you now. Do I regret what I said before? Maybe. Would I reconsider? I don't know. Would it make a difference if I did? And if did make a difference, would that matter to me?

I keep hitting questions I don't have the answers to. I can't answer yours either. I'm sorry.

All I can say is, if you and I have both been through this before, then what good would it do to run? We'd hit the same problem again - we just proved it! The only sensible thing to do is to figure it out now. But like I said, I won't ask you to stay. No, it's not my pride. Pride be damned! It never did anyone much good anyway. I won't ask you because it's not my choice to make. You have to make it on your own. I can offer you solutions but they're only workable if you think they are. I wish I had the strength and courage to face up to whatever's coming. Maybe I'll find I do. Or maybe I'll fall apart.

I miss you.

24 random thoughts

1. I'm hungry.
2. I'm so not sleepy.
3. My bedroom needs cleaning.
4. I really like Coldplay.
5. Bullie is the cutest dog in the world!
6. Wentworth Miller (Prison Break) is gorgeous.
7. Grey's Anatomy rock-saurs!
8. I need to write songs.
9. I want to go diving soon.
10. I love my legs.
11. Should I cut my hair?
12. I wanna dance.
13. I love the smell of sweat.
14. Associations are hard to change.
15. I desperately need to buy new shoes.
16. I have to sit down and properly sort out my finances.
17. There is something seriously wrong with this computer. Hope it survives this post at least. Maybe it's just me. My work com does absurd things too.
18. I need to buy bikinis.
19. Why are guys such jerks?
20. Scratch that. Why am I so stupid?
21. *Sigh* Scratch that. You live and learn.
22. I have great friends!
23. I'm thankful for a lot of things.
24. I'm looking forward to Saturday.

Oh well. Listening to All-American Rejects' My Paper Heart. Feels pretty appropriate.

Please just don't play with me
My paper heart will bleed
This wait for destiny won't do
Be with me please I beseech you
Simple things, that make you run away
Catch you if I can

Tears fall down your face
The taste is something new
Something that I know
Moving on is easiest when I am around you

So bottle up old love
And throw it out to sea
Watch it away as you cry
Now a year has passed
The seasons go

Please just don't play with me
My paper heart will bleed
This wait for destiny won't do
Be with me please I beseech you
Simple things that make you run away
Catch you if I can

Waiting, day to day it goes through
My lips are sealed for her
My tongue is tied to a dream of being with you
To settle for less is not what I prefer

Summer time, the nights are so long
The leaves fall down, and so do I into the arms of a friend
Winter nights, my bedside is cold
For I am gone, and spring blossoms you to me


Went down to ECP for a really short run after work today. Planned to do a longer one but I was more tired than I thought, and I got there pretty late anyway. Still, at least I'm upping the mileage. I've run more this week already than I usually do in a whole week. Yay me! Next run's on Thursday, and another one this weekend - I'll try a longer route if there's time. Everything seems to be happening on Saturday though, and I think I'll be tired out by Sunday, so I guess we'll see.

Had a nice long chat with Greg over dinner. It's good to talk and put things in perspective. Seeing him reminds me of how much we've been through together. I'm glad we went through what we did though. Like Rey says, everything that you go through in life just makes you who you are in the end. And life's a journey, and all journeys have their wrong turns and detours. Sometimes the 'wrong turns' turn out to be not so wrong after all. Sliding doors, eh? You never know what might have been.

Anyway, like I said in random thought 23, I'm thankful for a lot of things. I was pretty down Sunday night and yesterday, but in the end positivity always wins. B+ right? It's in my blood, like it always has been ;) Maybe like Rey says, I am more mature. It can't be that it doesn't matter to me anymore, because it surely means much more at this point in time than ever before. Or maybe I've found that inner peace, or I'm reaching it, finally. Let's hope so.

Yeah, no point worrying or second-guessing myself. In the end, God's in control. For once that doesn't seem so scary. Weird, huh. Besides, I think I'm really blessed in all other aspects of my life. Nick said, always thank God first. That's good advice. So I'm taking it.

1. Finances - I'm thankful for my bonus. Unexpected but so very welcome! AND I was pleasantly surprised to see two of my investments return nice dividends recently. And here I was worrying about my horrible expenditure this month. Perfect timing! Just enough to cover everything and have a bit left over. God truly does provide.
2. Family - Thank God my family are all safe and in good health. My dad just celebrated his 54th birthday. Long life, Dad! And a happy one too. He and Mom are such a cute couple. After dropping Mom off at the market today, he said to Lis and I as he watched her cross the road, "I love her." I wanna be like them someday.
Russ is studying hard for his 'A' Levels. Glad he's taking his exams seriously now! When he gets down to it, he really doesn't mess about.
Lis seems all right at work these days. Praying for her to get the uni of her choice. At least she's got a plan.
3. Friends - I'm thankful for people like Nick and Greg and Rey and the girls, who constantly remind me that I'm not alone and that there are many who care deeply for me. They're always there for me when I'm down. Can't treasure these people enough.
4. Work - It's busy busy busy, but it looks like I'll be getting my transplant soon. Fingers crossed! Word is that I'll be under someone I've worked with before, and I know she's a great boss. Not that my present boss isn't good, in fact I think I'm really lucky to be under her and that I get along pretty well with her. Looking good so far. Projects are wrapping up, new ones starting. Exciting stuff!

There's lots more to be thankful for. I should count my blessings more often. In the end, I'm still thankful for all the experiences I've had. Good or bad. Oh well. God's hands.

Run away

Went to the Hougang gym with some colleagues after work. Ran 5.2km at the track and then did a little gymming. Good workout. I'm feeling better. Dead tired though. At least I'll sleep tonight.

The lyrics in my head are killing me...

You're most vulnerable when you're happy

I think my life just got turned upside down. I'm felt so much so strongly all at once that I'm just numb now. I'm not sure how to react anymore - my initial impulses were not nice ones, and although they've more or less passed, I still get the occasional urge to do something wildly stupid, just because. A few years ago I wouldn't even have thought about it long enough to figure out it was stupid. Thank God I'm not at that phase of my life anymore. There are better ways to move on. But still.

I'm just feeling... really drained right now. Like someone just let all the substance out of my body and I'm just an empty shell. Fragile... ready to shatter. Or maybe I already have, I don't know. I'm barely holding it together, torn between hope and resignation. I never thought I'd say this, but maybe it's time to give up.

*sigh*

I think I'll go to Boston.

It's Been One Week

Phroooooooooooo. It's been busy days lately! I haven't blogged in ages. Anyway quick recap of the latest events before I forget - such a lot has happened!!!!

Last week...
Mon: Jack and Pete's birthday dinner at Cafe Iguana. Not enough tequila, but it wasn't that great anyway (I wouldn't mind the chocolate orange next time though). The guys are 24. I feel my years creeping up on me.
Tues: Lionel and Daffy audition at Cathay Ben & Jerry's... and get it! The Minted is born. Performances coming up, soon as they figure out their repertoire.
Wed: Rented Blade Runner from Video Ezy and watched it on Lisa's laptop while cuddled up with Lionel. Refreshments: Sticky peanut something and packet drinks. Yum.
Thurs: Really good dinner with Rey at Billy Bomber's. I say really good not just 'cos the food was good (Outback was better, methinks) but 'cos the company rocks. We've known each other for, what, almost 8 years now? Rey probably knows me best after my ex-bfs! It's so great to just sit down and catch up. Always so much to say, and somehow the conversation never gets boring. Love you, Rey ;) Yes yes not in that way, lest your gf get jealous. See you again soon, yeah?
Fri: Was supposed to go ktv-ing with the cell, but that was pushed to Sat, so planned to go night fishing with Lionel, but somehow we ended up double-dating with Lionel's bro Daniel and his girl, having supper at a Hong Kong-style cafe in Heartland Mall. Adora (Daniel's gf) has a new puppy! A beagle, and a very waggy one. Lionel managed to borrow Adora's keyboards and he's roped in a friend to play, so let's get started!
Sat: Lionel off to Batam to recce for his mission trip next year, while I go night cycling, which started out great and ended quite literally with a bang. One of the girls took a tumble coming down Mount Faber and wound up in SGH. *sigh* Just glad she seems to be ok now. Maybe we should do the Desaru trip before the next night cycling.
Sun: Lionel back from Batam, straight down to Waraku at Marina Square for Shimin's birthday dinner. Finally get to meet the mysterious Ben. And within the first 10 minutes Lionel's got himself a new drummer. With a recording studio!!!! Haha. Well anyway we'll see how it goes. First jamming session this Wednesday. The girlfriends will look on in starry-eyed adoration =P In the meantime I'll be hearing lots of Chris Martin haha. Yeah Happy Birthday Shimin!!!!! Hope you find the travel kit useful Raspberry dear. Make sure you replace the photo though!

And so ends the week, and this post. (I have to do housework. And watch America's Next Top Model. Now.) Bye!!!!!!